Room for Rent #5 - The Technicoloured Yawn

We're moving house in five days, and I'm putting my writing habit to good use by drafting a new ad each day until we move to help our landlords advertise some of the unique characteristics of the flat we've grown to love over the past five months.

We believe that moving day should be a joyful experience. We go the extra mile by leaving a surprise for every new tenant to discover as they unpack. You'll need a GSOH to last here, so we set the scene from day one with practical jokes. The tenants before you (an anti-social kiwi couple) didn't respond so well, but don't worry, the dried vomit they found under the bed was fake. We promise. Just a convincing fake. And it only took them half an hour to clean it anyway, so all's well that ends well!