Skye High: Top Ten Moments in the Scottish Highlands

Being from the other side of the world, the Scottish Highlands have always occupied a sort of mythical place in my mind. Between the Loch Ness monster, William Wallace, and Pixar’s latest animated flick Brave, the Highlands seem mysterious and full of adventure. So when I got the opportunity to explore the area for three days on HAGGiS Adventures’ Skye High trip from Edinburgh, I couldn’t resist.

In chronological order, these are the top ten moments of my time in the Scottish Highlands with HAGGiS:

1. William Wallace Monument
The first stop out of Edinburgh is in Stirling, home to Scotland’s most iconic hero – immortalised in 1995 by Mel Gibson in Braveheart. William is treated with the utmost reverence by the Scots, and our upbeat guide Angela took great pride in retelling the story of his efforts against the English and eventual grisly demise at the Tower of London.

2. Glencoe mountain chair lift
Glencoe mountain is a magnet for skiers in winter, and the panoramic view from the top makes it well worth a visit in summer too. This stop included lunch, so we all had our first taste of Haggis and Irn Bru. Though I did manage to crack a tooth on the meal, neither were as bad as I’d feared. Haggis tastes a lot like sausage meat, and Irn Bru like liquid bubblegum.

3. Wild & sexy Glencoe Valley
Tourists regularly stopped to pose with our wild and sexy HAGGiS bus. I couldn’t resist either! I chose this spot not only because it was spectacularly beautiful, but also in order to draw attention away from Paul – who had just made the mistake of admitting he was part of the Campbell Clan. The Campbells have been hated in the Highlands for hundreds of years after enabling the brutal massacre of 38 members of the McDonald clan at the hands of government soldiers. There were glares.

The hatred of Campbells runs deep in these parts.

4. Cloud-filled loch
Everyone’s heard of Loch Ness, but actually there are thousands of lochs in the Highlands. This is just one of them, although you can’t see it at this moment because it’s filled with cloud. Surrounded by wildflowers, it’s a sight to behold.

5. Eilean Donan castle
This is one of the most famous castles in the world, and it only takes a single glance across the moody, reflective water to see why. It feels lonely and isolated in an awe-inspiring kind of way. Like you would imagine Dracula’s country home.

6. The Black Cuillin Mountains
The Isle of Skye is a geologists marvel because it has some of the oldest mountains in the world (the Red Cuillins) and some of the youngest (the Black Cuillins). Here, at Sligachan bridge, the younger black ones look jagged and confronting. Plus there’s a local fairy story that says you’ll remain eternally youthful if you dip your face in the water, so that’s always a good reason to get in.

Ensuring I retain my youthful looks. *ahem*

7. The Fairy Pools
Everything on the Isle of Skye is picturesque, and this glittering clear waterfall is no exception. Plus, the fairies have enchanted the water to grant you a wish if you collect a mouthful at the top and then spit it on a well-placed rock at the bottom. Naturally, we were all happy to oblige.

8. Kilt Rock
The steepest, most beautiful cliffs I have ever seen – with a waterfall to boot! This is also the only place in Scotland we encountered a bagpiper. And a good spot for it too.

9. Loch Ness
I was a monster sceptic before heading out on Loch Ness myself. Our boat driver offered dozens of compelling reasons why he believes Nessie (and seventeen members of her family) are alive and well. There’s twice as much water in Loch Ness than in all the rivers and lakes of England and Wales put together. Fitting in all that water seems like a physical impossibility until you learn that Loch Ness is 227 metres deep! That’s deeper than the North Sea. And Nessie isn’t the only monster – there are known to be 10m long eels and 2m long ferocious fish that are only found in the artic. But even they can’t account for the several thousand tonnes of fish that disappear from the Loch each year. The water is pitch black from peat, so both of the men who have walked on the bottom were unable to report seeing much of anything. In fact, the bottom of Loch Ness is one of the most unexplored parts of the world – more people have been on the moon! In case you’re still sceptical, you should know that I took this photo myself:

 

10. The battlefields at Culloden Moor
Culloden was the site of a bloody battle against the English in 1746. Thousands of Scottish men were slaughtered, and the battle changed Scotland irrevocably – it was the end of the clan system.


Honourable mentions:

Hamish the Heilan Coo – you can’t go to the Highlands without seeing a Heilan Coo. 

McCurdie’s House – the strangest place on the Isle of Skye, filled with bizarre artefacts and a wry sense of humour.

Urquhart castle – on the banks of Loch Ness.

I really did fall in love with Scotland while I was there. It was green, wild, and magical. I would strongly advise any traveller visiting Europe to make a point of including Scotland on their itinerary. You won’t regret it.

Andrew travelled on the Skye High trip as a guest of HAGGiS Adventures.

Life Lesson #47 - Second Time Lucky

Today, I saw a woman dressed as Tom Jones’ long lost brother take her clothes off. Including the ‘tache.

It all started a year ago, when I missed two flights and three shows in one day (if you're feeling low on schadenfreude you can read the full story here). Those shows were in Edinburgh, at the famous annual Fringe Festival. And today I'm making up for it by going back.

You can't miss the fringe on the Royal Mile

I know of many wonderful acts that first 'made it' here at the fringe, including Tim Minchin. And last year Margaret Cho was here. So I've got high hopes.

The only trouble is that I've miscalculated a little. I didn't actually realise the Fringe was opening this weekend until after I'd booked my train tickets up. And we're leaving on the Skye High trip with HAGGiS Adventures first thing tomorrow. So tonight is our only chance to catch anything, and I sure don’t want to miss out two years in a row!

It's midnight when we arrive in Edinburgh, and we're tired after a full day at work. But the vibe on the Royal Mile is fantastic, it's really pumping. I'm determined not to miss the fringe for a second year in a row, so we check the festival guide to find out what's playing tonight, the night before opening, after midnight. Slim pickings.

We settle on a little comedy show featuring a straight-laced comedian and his crazy girlfriend. (Or at least, I think she was his girlfriend?)

When she walks into the room, there are four of us in the audience. Two quiet Asian girls, plus Paul and I. She has rosy cheeks, a blonde wig with pigtails, a cowgirl outfit (including boots), and is attempting to hold a true blue Texan accent.

She sings an angry country song about her ex-husband, directing every scathing word at Paul. At one point, she asks him angrily who he's in love with, the Asian girl to his right, or me. It's clearly meant to be insulting. He points at me. She looks horrified!

At the time I wasn’t quite sure why she looked so horrified... but it became clear moments later when she started taking her clothes off. For an audience of four with zero interested persons.

I’m not quite sure when stripping became comedy? Actually it still hasn’t. The show just wasn’t funny. We felt sorry for them most of the time. But they didn’t actually do any stand-up. Although he did climb through a tennis racket, and she demonstrated a Grace Jones’ flair for hula hooping.

The lowest point, by far, was when she came out dressed as a man. In a thick Welsh accent, she explained she was Tom Jones’ brother Tim. Then she stripped down until she just had little hearts covering her special bits. It’s the sort of moment tumbleweed was invented for.

There was a swallowed sword and a fake argument. But nothing could raise this dismal failure, particularly not the presenters begging the audience to drop enough in the hat for a kebab.

We spent the whole time wishing it would be funny, but just left confused. Though I was slightly less gutted about missing the Fringe last year!

Life Lesson #32- The Trip to Nowhere

I've been looking forward to this weekend for ages. Like any self respecting theatre freak, I find myself drawn to the the Edinburgh Fringe Festival like a mozzie to one of those lights that zaps them.

If only I had made it.

I planned the weekend to a degree of precision I believe they call obsessive compulsive. There were spreadsheets.

I settled on Last 5 Years, Margaret Cho and Spring Awakening. Two shows and a comedian that I have adored for years and never had the chance to see.

 

Last night I couldn't sleep for excitement at seeing my very first Jason Robert Brown.

If only I had remembered my passport.

By the time it crossed my mind, our easyBus was 10 minutes away from Stansted, and all I could do was hope that my drivers licence would suffice - given that it's a domestic flight.

Not so. While most other airlines follow the government guidelines accepting photo ID for domestic flights, Ryanair's stingy policies don't stretch.

So, after trying as hard as possible, I find myself glumly heading back on the Stansted Express while txting Paul instructions for how to pick up tickets when he arrives in Scotland without me.

He ends up convincing me to shell out a bomb for another flight, and I locate one leaving Heathrow in two hours.

The express is not so express. Luckily, it arrives to Liverpool St Station, which has three direct underground lines to our nearest station.

Guess which three underground lines are closed for maintenance today?

Two tubes, a bus, and 40 minutes layer I sprint in our front door, grab my passport (and a few of the lollies we nicked from the waiting room of our hotel six weeks ago in Germany), then run back to catch the tube to the Heathrow Express - which leaves from Paddington.

I arrive in the nick of time to sprint through the closing doors.

When I arrive at Heathrow, I race straight to the British Airways 'help' desk. (Yes, I put fear quotes around the word 'help' on purpose).

A bored looking man with a comb-over and glasses like my dad had in 1991 sluggishly informs me that check-in has closed.

"But I have no luggage!" I exclaim.

"The flight doesn't leave for nearly 40 minutes!"

"I busted a gut to get here!"

"I only booked it an hour ago!"

"I paid top dollar for it!"

"I've already missed one flight today!"

He glares.

"It's for a funeral!!"

Heartless man just stares into me with his beady little eyes. I can't stop staring at his sweaty forehead.

He brushes me off and tells me to go to customer service.

I'm greeted by an 18 year old with a loose mousy ponytail who looks like she's trying not to smile.

By now I've given up on all hope of making my flight, so I use another tactic: lies.

"I've missed my flight and they told me to come hear for my refund".

Her eyes widen. She starts laughing. She calls her manager over. He's about 4"8. I repeat my desperate plea.

His eyebrows raise. He starts laughing too. They glance at each other and laugh together.

After five minutes of groveling, they send me on my way with a "good luck at getting a refund online" and knowing looks exchanged.

I get back on the train again and head back into town to see The Inbetweeners movie with our new friends.

I'm not sure if I should feel happy or sad that Paul ended up stuck on the bus so long that he missed the first show too. And Zoe was in the right place but unable to do anything without the tickets.

Oh, and I went to completely the wrong station for the movie and arrived 15 minutes after it started - on the other side of town. By the time I got back to our home station it was two and a half hours since I'd got on the train at Heathrow, and my ticket had expired so I had to pay a £10 penalty fee.

Murphy's Law, I guess.

A Weekend in Scotland

On Friday, straight after The Mousetrap, we caught the overnight bus up to Glasgow for the weekend.

We booked the trip for this weekend so we could see Paul's cousin Zoe perform in a cabaret she'd written as part of her studies at the Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama. The 8 hour bus trip was hell, but we'd expected that. Luckily the first thing we did with Zoe (and her new German bf Daniel) was walk through town to grab breakfast and a great coffee at the little cafe where she used to work. After breakfast, we checked out the Glasgow Gallery of Modern Art, and then Paul and I caught the train to Garrowhill while Zoe rehearsed her cabaret.

I've always wanted to visit Garrowhill, because it's where my granny lived as a young girl, before she moved to Australia. She was born in 1939, the first year of WWII, and one of her earliest memories is of wearing a Mickey Mouse gas mask during a bomb raid, in her house in Garrowhill. We sat on the curb opposite her house for about 20 minutes, and I told Paul stories. We looked the other way when the lady who owned the place pulled up - didn't want to weird her out! She might remember my granny, as she popped back in a few years ago to have a look at the house she once knew.

After catching the train back into the city, we had a bit of time to kill before meeting up with Zoe and Daniel again, so we checked out the local mall, Buchanan Galleries, where I found a great shop and bought a whole new wardrobe for my new job. I figured the two shirts I brought with me might look a little tired by week three.

When we caught up with Zoe and Daniel again, we hopped on the train again, this time to Edinburgh. I had no idea Glasgow and Edinburgh were so close - less than an hour away!

Edinburgh is a beautiful city. We met up for coffee with Paul's other cousin Mimi, who lives there now, then took a walk around the city. It was amazing how different it was from Glasgow! It just oozed history. We capped off our great day with a Scottish pub meal, then caught the train back. 

In the morning we slept in, then Zoe cooked us pancakes which we smothered in Manuka honey and nutella. Not at the same time. Zoe's cabaret was on in the crypt of an old church that's been turned into a pub. We walked there in the afternoon, and checked out the nearby botanic gardens while she did her sound check. The show was great. There were four students performing 25 minutes each, and it was great. Zoe was in hilarious form, and she even sang Dave Dobbyn's Welcome Home, which was a special treat. I had it stuck in my head for the entire 8 hour bus trip home.

AA