Istanbul in Two Days (part 2)

I had a dilemma back in June. How can you possibly explore a city as vast, as cosmopolitan and as interesting as Istanbul in just a day?

I decided you couldn't. So I didn't try to. I was fortunate enough to know I was coming back for another day a few months later. So I ticked off half of my hit list in June (see the post here), and now I'm back for more!

Here's the Antipodean's guide to Istanbul, part two:


7.  The Blue Mosque
The Blue Mosque feels relatively modern in a city with history as rich as Istanbul. After all, it's only 500 years old - constructed more than 1,000 years after the Hagia Sophia. Unlike Hagia Sophia, this is still a functioning mosque. So you can only walk through outside the hours of prayer, and you have to take off your shoes.

The gold and iridescent blue on the inside is stupefying. And because it's still a functioning mosque, you can only walk around part of it - which strangely adds to the charm.

8.  Topkapı Palace
All you kids who have dreamed of seeing the prophet Abraham’s saucepan, look no further. It’s right here in Topkapı Palace, along with other relics like Moses’s staff, Joseph’s turban and Muhammed’s footprint. Though the relics are fascinating, one can’t help but consider them a little far-fetched, so the real highlight of a visit to Topkapı is undoubtedly the palace itself.

And specifically, the harem. Back in the day, being a wife or concubine of the sultan was a pretty desirable job. With intricate İznik designs covering every wall inside the harem – it’s an environment not unlike walking around inside a kaleidoscope. Compared to the world outside the palace, the women of the harem had a fairly good deal.

Make sure you set aside at least half a day for the palace. It’s enormous, and just about all of it is remarkable if you know what you’re looking at – which is a good reason to buy the guide at the gift shop before you go in.

The detailed walls of the harem.

The view of the city across the Bosphorus alone is worth the entry price.

Some of Istanbul's mosques, visible from the palace.

9.  The Spice Bazaar
The second largest covered shopping complex in Istanbul (after the Grand Bazaar, naturally) has a smell that hits you the moment you walk in, but is impossible to describe accurately because of the way it evolves as you walk around. I found myself musing over whether blind people would be able to navigate the bazaar by smell alone. One step and your nostrils are overwhelmed by mint, and the next, some exotic blend of spices that the shopkeeper assures you is his grandmother’s secret recipe – certain to make every meal delicious.

And there’s Turkish delight everywhere. After far too long (two months, to be exact), I’m reacquainted with the most wonderful creation in the history of confectionary: pomegranate and pistachio Turkish delight.

I’m sorry to leave Istanbul. If only because I failed to find any new restaurants worth recommending (despite choosing carefully based on independent reviews).

Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to come back.

Life Lesson #48 - Never Look a Belly Dancer in the Eye

Today, for the second time in a month, I ended up naked in front of my entire tour group and an ensemble of assorted strangers. Well, almost naked.

It was this woman's fault. I'm going to call her Jezebel.

After being entertained by her display of belly flexibility, I think nothing of it when she starts pulling out random men from the audience. She gets to about five, then puts them all in a line.

I’m looking straight at her, when suddenly I realise she’s returning the gaze. Apparently five men isn’t enough. I do the obligatory “who, me?”-face-of-sweetness-and-innocence, but it’s too late. She already has an evil gleam in her eye.

Seconds later I’m onstage. And she’s tugging my shirt upwards. Awkward giggles are exchanged as the other men suffer the same indignity. 

Then, she’s back for more. With her finger and her thumb, she expertly undoes my pants and whips them off. Good thing I didn’t go commando. 

Next, she pulls out a hanky-sized strip of fabric and ties it around my waste. It’s pink. And covered in bells. Of course it is.

“Now dance, white boys!”

She doesn’t actually speak, but that’s what her eyes are saying.

If there’s one thing my time at High School taught me, it’s that there’s only one way to keep your pride during moments of humiliation. Go one up on them. Turn the other cheek, if you will. So, I stand there with a big grin and wiggle my hips like Beyoncé’s androgynous cousin. Then I try a shimmy for good measure. And a booty shake.

Once we’re all decked out like a hairy harem, she cranks the music up and starts teaching us moves. Shimmy around, roll your arms, stick out your bum, then belly roll. Now she makes us do it alone, one by one.

Determined to beat the shame by over-delivering the ridiculous choreography, I tart the whole thing right up. I may feel like slitting my wrists on the inside, but outside I’m smiling! 

After a few more rounds of belly rolls, she starts eliminating men. And it’s down to two of us. I was never introduced to the other guy, but he looks to me like the sort of bloke who would be a plumber from Essex named Phil.

But hang on, the eliminated guys get to put their clothes back on. No fair! And what’s she pulling out of her bag of tricks now? That would be the top half of the outfit. It’s purple. And also covered in bells.

Oh, and a wig.

Oh, and lipstick. Bright red lipstick.

“Now dance, white trannies!”

She doesn’t actually speak, but that’s what her eyes are saying.

I feel excruciatingly ridiculous. I have no idea how to sexy dance, but I give it a shot. When I’m out of moves I progress to the chicken dance. The only think keeping me from jumping off a ledge is the realisation that Phil the plumber is far, far more uncomfortable, and far, far worse at this than I am. It’s a sick world where schadenfreude, rather than solidarity, brings comfort in the most mortifying moments, but there you have it.

After what I could swear is 20 minutes dancing alone for jeering crowds (who can’t quite believe their eyes), suddenly Jezebel returns, grabs our hands, bows with us, then laughs at us and kicks us off stage.

I put my clothes back on and return to my seat. Everyone’s laughing, saying I was hilarious. I’m a little confused... clearly they weren’t watching the humiliating series of events I just participated in.

Shortly afterwards, Jezebel leaves in plain-clothes. I start to feel self-righteous. Where is my prize? Surely if the evening’s entertainment is to laugh at me, I deserve some sort of remuneration?

With Jezebel out of the building, I have only one option, and make my way up to the bar. I deliberately pick the girl with a kiwi Mr Vintage tee, and explain the gross injustice of my plight.

She laughs and pours me a shot. It’s blue and smells like raspberries. My indignation evaporates.

Belly dancing? Pffft, it’s not so bad.

Sail Turkey: Highlights

The Turkish riviera is often called the Turquoise Coast. After a week exploring it on Busabout's Sail Turkey trip, it's easy to see why. These are the highlights of a week afloat.

Fethiye harbour, shortly before departure.

1.  Butterfly Valley

The butterflies may be seasonal, but the steep cliffs blocking this bay off from overland access are a glorious sight year round.

2.  Sunsets onboard

Dinner is served quite late on board the Sail Turkey gulets - around 8:30pm. If you ask me, it's because nobody wants to miss the stunning daily sight of the sun exploding in every shade of orange and purple.

3.  Kekova sunken city

1,800 years ago, the Lycian town of Kekova was destroyed by an earthquake, crumbling into the sea. The captain drives slowly along the coast, allowing you to catch a glimpse of an ancient world lost to the sea like Atlantis.

4.  Ölüdeniz (the Blue Lagoon)

The water at Ölüdeniz is so turquoise it almost appears to be glowing. And the high nearby mountains make it a perfect spot for paragliding.

5.  Watersports in Smuggler's Cove

Smuggler's Cover is an old pirate's hangout. Boats come round to the gulets offering group watersports. This banana fitted most of our boat on it - and you can't really go wrong when falling in means a chance to relax in  25° water!

6.  Kaş

Kaş is a cute little town that used to be a tiny fishing village. Now it boasts great shopping, especially for those who are fond of silver. But my favourite thing about it was spotting what the locals have dubbed 'the sleeping man' on the hillside behind the town.

Can you spot the sleeping man watching over the town?

7.  St Nicholas Island

The Byzantine ruins on St Nicholas Island make for a great photo. But the real prize comes when  you reach the summit (about a 20 minute climb) and see the irresistable view just in time for sunset.

8.  Crepe boats

I was beaten to the ingenious business idea of a floating crepe stall by a little old Turkish lady who sails around from boat to boat offering the delectable treats for a murderous sum. But they're so good you'll still want seconds.

9.  Kale

There's a ruined castle above the idyllic town of Kale, and the view from the top is epic. Plus the locals make great Turkish icecream.

10.  Smuggler's Cove sea cave

While it's beautiful during the day, the cave at Smuggler's Cove is something really special at night. It's pitch black, but when you jump in the water you discover that there's something phosphorescent in it. the more you splash, the more the water lights up as though you're swimming with glow worms. It's sadly unphotographable, but truly amazing.

11.  Myra

Myra was the capital city of ancient Lycia. It's believed to have been established as early as 500 BC, but was mostly abandoned by 1100 AD. Make sure you bring your camera - the rock-cut tombs are a memorable sight.

12.  The water

All the other highlights pale in comparison to this one. I've never encountered water so strikingly warm. After sleeping under the stars and being woken by sunrise, a quick dip is the perfect way to kickstart the day. And it's great before lunch too. And in the afternoon heat. And at midnight. If the Sail Turkey trip was just mooring the boat in these turquoise waters for a week straight, I'd have been happy. Everything else is a bonus!

Sail Turkey: Preview

When contemplating the stifling heat of August, nothing sounds more attractive to me than a week on a boat. Jumping off the bow to cool off. Reading in the late afternoon sun. Sleeping on the deck, under the stars.

That's exactly what you get with Busabout's Sail Turkey trip. And it's not just any boat; but a traditional Turkish gulet.

The coastline around the Turkish riviera is sublime. I've been told to anticipate clear turquoise waters, 25 degrees or warmer.

I really can't wait.

I'm travelling on the Sail Turkey trip as a guest of Busabout and Flight Centre UK. Some of my highlights of the trip will also be published on Flight Centre UK's blog. I'll link to them after they're posted.

Gallipoli (in Photos)

Even just the word ‘Gallipoli’ is loaded for antipodeans. We all learned about it in history class, but few have been fortunate enough to visit the site where so many Kiwis and Australians lost their lives in the first world war. Gallipoli is around a 5 hour drive from Istanbul, so it’s ambitious to do it in a day, but eight of the Ottoman Trekkers were up for the challenge the day after our Trek ended.

I was floored to discover that Gallipoli was beautiful. I’d never paused to consider that the site of such violent injustice could be naturally so striking. But it really was.

The whole area feels dedicated to the ANZAC troops who lost their lives there. Below is a bit of a photo journey, because words could never do it justice.

Old photographs help us to wrap our heads around the reality of what we’re looking at.

ANZAC Cove. Far more exquisite than I had imagined.

The allied troops trained in Egypt, so it’s not surprising that this rock formation above ANZAC Cove was nicknamed “the sphinx”.

There are so many tourists on ANZAC day that the service has now been moved to the larger grassy area above the next bay. We felt slightly uncomfortable posing for a photo of such a sombre moment, but wanted to remember it.

One of many graveyards filled with both named and unknown soldiers. Most were inscribed with messages from their grieving parents. A few were just 18 years old, which brought tears to my eyes.

A statue immortalising the moment a Turkish soldier carried a wounded Australian to safety
so he wouldn’t be left to die in No Man’s Land.

The Australian memorial at Lone Pine.

The trenches have trees growing in them now.

Nek Ridge. The location of the last scene in the movie ‘Gallipoli’.

Our last stop, at the highest point: the New Zealand Memorial.
It's here because only the kiwi soldiers ever made it this far.

Afterwards, Ally and I dip our toes in the Dardanelles. 

A blood red sun feels almost poetic as we begin the long drive back to Istanbul.

Ottoman Trek: Istanbul

Where East meets West. That's what I'd heard about Istanbul. Knowing it was a heavily Muslim city, I pictured it exactly like Marrakesh, with snake charmers in the public square, Eastern architecture, and calls to prayer over loudspeaker a few times a day.

When we first arrived, part of me was a little disappointed: what I saw was more West than East. Most of the architecture was clearly European, and there were no snake charmers - not where I was, anyway! But I soon discovered that Istanbul has a fascinating layer under the surface, and if you are prepared to look a little deeper, it does live up to its reputation.

To state the obvious: you need more than a day in Istanbul. I was lucky enough, arriving here as the last stop of Busabout's incredible Ottoman Trek, to already know that I'll be back for another single day in September. So I made a slightly unusual choice, and decided to divide the city into two manageable chunks - seeking only to complete one of them this time around.

This is The Antipodean's guide for half of Istanbul in a day; I'll publish a follow-up post in September offering the other half in a second day.

1.  The Grand Bazaar

Renowned the world over as a visual feast of colour, the Grand Bazaar does not disappoint. It feels more ordered than the markets in Morocco, and it's easier to stay oriented. Gift idea: the metal-shops all sell little spice grinders. They're beautiful, inexpensive, very Turkish, and will even fit in your already overstuffed suitcase. Take your time finding the best one - there are subtle variations - then pretend not to like it and test your talent for haggling!

2.  Watermelon in the main square

Afternoon temperatures can be sweltering, so take refuge in the main square near the Blue Mosque with a large slice of fresh watermelon from one of the many carts.

3.  Hagia Sophia Mosque

This mosque is 1,000 years older than the Vatican. Let me say that again. This mosque is a thousand years older than the Vatican! And it actually spent its first thousand years as a church, before being converted into a mosque in 1453 (when it was still the largest cathedral in the world). The €12 entry fee seems steep after a week of Eastern-European prices, but don't let it scare you off. This is considered the pinnacle of Byzantine architecture for a reason!

4.  Turkish tea and snacks

I won't go as far as recommending a place, because finding your own is half the fun! But find out whether they use fresh or powdered apple in their apple tea - and keep looking if it's not fresh. Save room for at least two types of baklava and turkish delight - and may I suggest that one of those is pomegranate turkish delight wrapped in pistachios. (I finally understood why Edmund is so won over by the stuff in The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe!)

5.  Turkish Baths

Defying the usual tourist-trap laws, the main Turkish baths by the Grand Bazaar are meant to be wonderful. However, in line with expectations, they're also very expensive! So we chose Gedikpaşa Hamamı, built in 1475. I entered the baths with an acute sense of culture shock, and left feeling fantastic. Keep an eye out on Flight Centre UK's blog for the full hilarious account of my Turkish Bath experience (I'll link to it here once it's been published).

The surprise towel-turban ending was my favourite part!

6.  Dinner at Palatium

"Do you serve falafel kebabs?" Ally has a craving. "Yes", replies the restaurateur. "Also, we have an underground Roman palace" he adds nonchalantly. Sold! And thus began my love affair with Palatium (just one street over from Busabout's base at the Sultan Hostel). Arriving early, we quickly nabbed the beanbags on the outdoor balcony area, because they're on glass and you can glance down at the palace while nibbling your mains! This is not the cheapest restaurant in Istanbul, but it's still very reasonable by Western standards, and they served the best food I've tasted in months. I really can't rave enough: Palatium was my unexpectedly wonderful discovery in Istanbul.

After our meal at Palatium, we ventured down to see the palace. It was far bigger than anticipated, and really something! We decided, for some unknown reason, to practice the Bulgarian dancing we'd learned a few days earlier at the gypsy dinner in Sofia.

The security guard who snapped us mid-dance thought we were deranged.

Getting caught Bulgarian dancing at midnight in an underground Roman palace beneath a wonderful restaurant in Turkey... I can't think of a better ending for the Ottoman Trek!

The Antipodean travelled on the Ottoman Trek thanks to Flight Centre UK and Busabout. You can find out more about the Ottoman Trek here.